Kerala's IPL becomes tagged with Kochi- Trivandrum Idiots

There’s a celebrated saying in north kerala about the south keralites,”മൂര്‍ഖനെയും തെക്കെനേയും ഒരുമിച്ചു കണ്ടാല്‍ ആദ്യം തെക്കേനെ തല്ലി കൊല്ലണം ” That simply translates that if one see a cobra and a south Keralite, he should first kill the latter. This saying might have created by some prejudiced mentally disturbed person some where in Malabar. Later it could have been transferred to his descendants and further down to many generations.  Though I’m not from north of Kerala nor from the south (I’m from Idukki), I feel this is totally false and ridiculous. We ourselves have betrayed the south people, and surprisingly the south idiots have been so much dormant and inactive. There is not even a spark of rebellion or anger from these south guys. The proposed cricket stadium at Trivandrum in 2006 was hijacked when I came to helm of Kerala closet association (please read Kerala cricket association). There by we hijacked the possibility of an IPL team for Trivandrum with the help of Suroor the new face of Indian politics, who was lured into the greed of sweat equity and stuff.

When the first one day international cricket n Kerala was played in the University stadium Trivandrum, between KapilDev’s India and Kim Hughes’ Australia, in 80's, the present coach of team Kochi Geoff Lawson was the member of the Australian team. He would still be remembering the youngsters in the gallery calling out his name incessantly, when he was guarding the boundary. The second international was also played at Trivandrum between India and the West Indies. Those days I was in a remote hamlet in Idukki and I never knew what was cricket or where was Trivandrum. I was just a primary school drop out helping my farmer father in tapioca agriculture. I did not know even how Trivandrum or Kochi looked like those days (late 80’s). My life changed when my dad sent me to Kochi to buy fertlizer and fodder from the Broadway market. I did not return home and decided to work in Kochi at a ferlizer godown doing  miscellaneous drudgeries. Every Sunday, I walked through the M.G.Road and looked in awe at the biggest building in Kochi, the 3 storied Jos brothers tailor shop. I had heard that the tallest building those days in Kerala was the co-bank towers in Trivandrum that had 11 floors. I wanted to go to Trivandrum and see that, but I did not have enough money. I grew with the Kochi that was essentially a fisherman town then and reached a position where I could be called as somebody in the closet of cricket of Kerala. I wanted to make bucks and more bucks, for that I played a lot of dirty game. We (me and my cronies) pocketed all the grants from GCDA, we fudged figures and amounts gotten from one day matches at Kaloor stadium and we did a lot of dirty things to make money. The last one was hijacking the IPL team that could have gone to Trivandrum by acquiescing the greedy Suroor and his charming girl friend ananda tuskar.

Iam sorry for all the idiots in Triandrum, who are scared to raise this issue in public domain. The city had been suffering because of aloofness of its people. Muscle power, money power are synonym to greed and we are just the perfect example. We shut the door to Trivandrum in terms of cricket. In the 80’s there were hordes of tournament played in Trivandrum Including Duleep, Ranji,Deodhar trophy and host of others. We (my self and our former closet secretary  Animal doctor A.Kumar) saw to that these tournaments were played either in Kochi or Perinthalmanna. You may ask why Perinthalmanna, secret! Don’t tell any one, I have a concubine (keep) there. I hope my wife would not come to know about it. 

Now the question is how much money can I make from the bullshit IPL. I also fear that the demons in the IPL and BCCI might thwart my plans. My fingers are crossed. I have to stop now bcoz; I have been summoned by the vigilance to their office in the afternoon. God will not save me, but my money will. Shukran Jazeelan! Masalama!!